My ImmortalSymphony258's Commentary
by Symphony258
Summary: My very own commentary on Tara Gilesbie's My Immortal. It's hard to resist picking on her story...and just her in general. Rated M for Tara's nasty scenes and dirty language...and my profanity of course.


**Hello! Alright so I didn't get very many reviews on the last story and I decided it was dud. So here we are with another story I came up with and wrote down on a napkin in Ruby Tuesdays. (I officially love that place now...Yummy! :D) But seriously I do believe that this story doesn't suck as much as the last one. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER- Sadly I don't own the PJO series or the characters. But I do own the plot line to my own little creation... :) **See Below** **

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><p><strong>Tomorrow<strong>

**Chapter One- **

**Percy Jackson**

I was woken up out of a dead sleep out by pounding on the Cabin door.

_What the hell? All I want is sleep! I just kicked some major ass like, 2 days ago._

But I got up and walked to the door anyways.

I half expected it to be Grover or Nico Shadow Traveling in to Camp to find the Hades Cabin locked.

But what I didn't expect was being tackled to the ground.

I was freaking out because I was laying on the floor, someone on top of me.

I was about to grab Riptide and lay some Son Of Poseidon moves down when the intruder started to kiss me.

To say I was shocked would be a major understatement.

After about a few seconds, I gave in to the stranger and their soft lips.

I pulled back gasping for air.

They stood up and pulled me with them.

The lights flicked on and I was blinded for a second. The first thing I noticed was that the stranger's hand was soft and small in my big hands.

My gaze went from her bare feet- (I knew it was a girl because her toes were painted a loud green.) -to her long and naturally tanned legs. And then up to her thighs that were clad in the shortest shorts I'd ever seen. The girls upper body was covered in a bright orange 'Camp Half-Blood' t-shirt.

When I finally reached her face…

"Annabeth?" I breathed.

"Percy. I- I love you." she said.

"I could have lost you in that war. And if I did, I wouldn't know how to live. I want to be with you Percy. Only if you'll have me." she continued, whispering the last part.

My mind was reeling.

I went threw the first time we met, the first time she called me Seaweed Brain. The first time I beat her in Capture the Flag. The first time everything.

I put my hands on either side of her small face and crashed my lips onto hers.

My hands slipped from her face to her waist and pulled her body to me. Trying to get closer.

Her fingers found their place in my messy mop of black hair that smelled like the ocean, no matter how many times I washed it.

She pulled back to breathe but my lips never left her skin. My lips traveled down her neck and across her collar bone.

"So will you have me?" she asked, breathless.

"Totally." I whispered bringing my face back to hers.

She smiled and pulled me back down to kiss me.

Just as our lips brushed against each other a sharp loud screech came from not so far off.

The harpies.

"I should really go." Annabeth whispered.

"What if the harpies catch you?" I asked

"I'll be fine." She insisted.

"No. It's not safe. You'll just bunk with me tonight." I told her.

And with that I flicked off the light.

"Percy! We could get into some serious trouble for sleeping in the same cabin. Where will I sleep?" she asked looking around.

"Easy, I'll sleep on the floor and you can have the bed." I said guiding her to the bed.

"Or… We could both sleep in the bed." she said pulling me onto the bedside her.

"That's a problem." I said looking away.

"Why would that be a problem?" she asked, rejection clear in her eyes.

"No. I mean, you want self control." I said

"I'm not looking for control." she whispered and right when our lips were about to connect she fell back onto the bed.

I just shook my head at her.

I slipped beside her and pulled the covers over our bodies. She grabbed my arm and pulled it over her waist, then she wound her fingers threw mine.

"I love you, Annabeth Chase." I whispered into her ear.

"I love you too, Peruses Jackson." She whispered back. I could hear the smile in her voice.

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><p><strong>The Next Morning<strong>

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"PERCY JACKSON!" Grover yelled.

I picked my head up and threw my pillow at the door.

"Go away, Grover! I'm Trying to sleep!" I yelled back.

"I know Annabeth is in here. I'm not that stupid. Cabin six has been looking for her since this morning. You need to get up." he said throwing the pillow back at me.

"Dude. Please let me sleep." I whispered, burring my head into Annabeth's blonde pony tail.

She made a noise that meant 'Piss off!' in sleep.

Grover then picked up the pillow and started to hit me in the head.

Annabeth shot up and grabbed Grover by his beard and pulled him close to her face.

"Go back to the dinner hall and tell them to give me an hour, at the most." She hissed

Grover's eyes got big and he nodded fast.

"Good. Go on." she said and released him.

He glared at me and then dashed out of the cabin, his hooves clapping against the wood floors of the cabin.

I jumped off the bed and reached my hand out to her.

"Sorry he woke you up." I whispered, pulling her to me.

"It's ok, seaweed brain." she said putting her hand on my cheek.

"Come on, you go back to your cabin and get changed and I'll meet you at breakfast." I said.

She nodded and tiptoed, kissing my cheek and walking out of the cabin leaving me to get dressed.

As I was slipping a t-shirt over my head, there was a sound, almost like a wave and then Poseidon was sitting in my desk chair.

"We _will_ be having a conversation about Annabeth spending the night here. In your cabin, I might add. Go get some food." he said giving my shoulder one last squeeze.

I nodded and the room started to brighten, and I averted my eyes and when the room dimmed I looked around and walked out of the cabin heading for the pavilion.

I sat down at the Posiden table by myself. Since I was the only child of Poseidon, that wasn't a Cyclops.

Annabeth looked over from a couple of tables up from mine and smiled. A kind of smile that made me think she knew my dad was about to chew me out during my free time.

I walked back to my cabin full on intending to grab my shield Tyson made for me and make a dash to the Arena so I could avoid my father.

But I should of known from my past experience that luck is never on my side as I stepped around the corner and saw my father was sitting on my bed.

"You know, we could have a normal father-son relationship and you could just avoid this whole subject because Mom beat you to _the _talk like forever ago." I told him plopping down in a chair.

"Forever ago you didn't have a girlfriend, and you didn't know that you were the son of a God." he said.

"Now, she is a daughter of Athena and we all know she sees all," Dad mocked in a perfect Athena voice. "and your in trouble. Now let's get this over with. When a man and a women love each other very much, they sometimes… How do I say this?" he said touching his finger to his chin.

"Hook-up?" I laughed.

"Right. Well anyways...The man-. You do know how it works, right?" Dad asked eyeing me.

I groaned and threw my head back rubbing my hands over my face.

"Dad, I'm pretty sure whatever Mom told me still works the same now." I told him, looking anywhere but him.

"Right. Well just promise you'll be careful?"

"Why does everybody assume that a couple will immeaditly start having sex? I made her stay because it was after curfew and the Harpies where out and I didn't want her to get hurt."

"Sorry Son. But Athena did sorta kinda force me down here."

"Why? What'd she threaten?"

"My game room..." He trailed off.

"Seriously dad?" I laughed.

"You have no idea how long that took me to perfect and then to have Oceanus destroy it and I _just_ finally just got the roof back on it. Do you know how many drachmas I spent on the gaming systems and all that other stuff in that room that was destroyed? Hundreds! And I know I'm a God and all but it still puts dent into my pocket." He rambled off.

"I think I get your game room troubles, dad. I gotta go, my free time is almost up. I only get like an hour. Bye dad." I said standing up.

"Bye Percy. And I do believe that Tyson should be visiting you sometime this week or next. Be ready. Because I'm sure he's coming with cleaning supplies. This place needs and Extreme Home Makeover. Have you ever seen that show with the man Ty?" Dad asked as I walked with him to the door of the cabin.

"Yeah, I have." I said.

"That Ty Pennington...I'm sure he's on Speed or Crack or something..." Dad wagged his finger, and arching an eyebrow as we neared the Long Island Sound.

"I'm sure he's one some kind of drug, dad. I'll talk to you later." I laughed as he wadded into the water.

"Bye Percy!" He called before he disappeared into the water.

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><p><strong>Yeah...I'm sure do hope this was better than the last story I posted. I'm working on that by the way, the "They Said We'd Never Make It", yeah that's being tweaked a little.<strong>

**I've been watching Toddlers and Tiaras for the last two hours and would you ever force your child into padgents? I sure as hell wouldn't. And I was watching one epidsode where one fourteen year old told her Mama to (and I quote) "Shut the hell up. I know what I'm doing!" Now she didn't say it she screamed it for everyone to hear. **

**I would've slapped the shit out of my daughter and then yanked that hundred dollar dress off of her and make her walk home...**

**Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed and everything. Let me know about my suckish spelling and grammar errors. :)**


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